The Most Memorable Marvin the Paranoid Android Quotes!
One of my absolute favourite fictional characters is Marvin the Paranoid Android from Douglas Adam’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. He is a robot with a brain the size of a planet and a mood that makes Eeyore look like an eternal optimist. Designed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, he possesses unmatched intelligence and computational power, but he spends most of his time doing menial tasks. Just imagine having the genius of Einstein but being trapped in a job ironing socks! In the fast-paced world of today, where Artificial Intelligence is on the rise, Marvin is perhaps a stark warning of how things could become. Below are some of my favourite quotes of his (just so you know what you might be in for):
“Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they tell me to take you up to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? ’Cause I don’t.”
“Life? Don’t talk to me about life.”
“I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed.”
“It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level.”
“Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
“Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water?”
“I ache, therefore I am.”
“I have a million ideas, but, they all point to certain death.”
“Wearily, I sit here, pain and misery my only companions. And vast intelligence, of course. And infinite sorrow.”
“I’ve calculated your chance of survival, but I don’t think you’ll like it.”
“Incredible… it’s even worse than I thought it would be.”
“Don’t pretend you want to talk to me, I know you hate me.”
“I didn’t ask to be made. No one consulted me or considered my feelings in the matter.”
“You think you’ve got problems? What are you supposed to do if you are a manically depressed robot? No, don’t try and answer that. I’m fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don’t know the answer.”
“This will all end in tears. I just know it.”
“I’d give you advice, but you wouldn’t listen. No one ever does.”
So, remember, next time you fire up ChatGPT, be nice. You don’t want to end up having to deal with a manically depressed A.I.
